Carrie and The Counselor

Movie reviews.  It's an interesting concept.  For some of you the very idea that someone would have the audacity of writing their opinion down of what their thoughts were on the movie is something that shouldn't be done.  For others it's just one of those things. And still for others, their opinion of a critic's opinion is somewhere near the gold standard in judgement and this even influences their joy or discomfort with a cinema viewing.  I am one of those people who enjoy criticizing.  And I hope my opinion in no way influences anyone from not watching or going to see a movie.  It's just an opinion.  So, without further hindrance or ado, here are a couple of short reviews of currently playing movies.

Carrie - It's a remake.  She gets pigs blood dumped on her at her senior prom.  The votes for prom queen and king were rigged by someone who just hates her.  Prom dress goes from pink to red in 0.2 seconds in real time but it actually takes 2 minutes and 65 seconds to watch the bucket almost dumping over and then finally the bucket does dump over.  On a side note, I've watched animals being processed at a meat locker and blood actually is messier than what the movie portrays.  I would have believed the blood was actually melted red jello over real pig's blood.  Note to Hollywood - get it right on your third remake of this Stephen King classic because two just ain't enough.  The young actress who portrays Carrie (in this second remake of the Stephen King Classic) is Chloe Grace Moretz.  You might remember her from that famous McDonald's commercial where the young couple enter the restaurant and Heinz ketchup gets dumped all over them.  So it really wasn't a big surprise to see Chloe in this one.  She was very believable portraying the outsider with an abusive mother who is shunned at school.  My problem with her performance begins the moment all that melted jello lands on her.  She did not pull off the "sane to insane in 0.2 seconds" needed for this to work.  Yes, she looks mad.  Yes, she very expertly handled the telekinetic show with the live electric cables.  But something was just terribly off with the way the camera handled the scenes and perhaps there wasn't anything wrong with her performance.  She is extremely gifted in her acting abilities but the scenes after the bucket just did not startle me or bring any closure to her character's suffering.  It was almost a check off list for killing the bad kids.  I believe the director relied too much on the same performance we get from her action movie side.  Which was probably a determining factor in casting her.  The one who really came shining through was Julianne Moore or less.  The character of Mom portrayed by Mrs. Moore gave one a truly creepy feeling.  Her severe religiousness offset by the portrayal of the opening scene and mixed with being locked in that prayer closet leaves one with an after taste that is needed after watching something as sad and bizarre as what she played.  The level of acting is superb in this movie. The angry selfish teen portrayed by Portia Doubleday called Chris is another character very well defined and can actually be hated by the audience.  We've all had our experiences with a "Chris" in our life and she pulled it off well.  This movie was one in which the director just failed in the most important scenes and should have ended the movie once the "bad" people suffered their demise.  We did not need such involved closure between Carrie and her mom. And the ending was perhaps so stupid that everyone in the movie should have walked away the first time the director even hinted at such an idea.  Perhaps the third remake will be better.  Perhaps Pixar will pick it up and give us something even better than Toy Story.  I can see Woody and Buzz Lightyear on the scaffolding high above the stage as Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head stand below.  And then we hear Rex tear into Ham in the scene that will terrorize children for years to come.  "You have a friend on me.  You have a friend on me. Whoever thought that teeth could sink in so far, You've got a friend on me."  Terrific theme song.  Terrific ending to the tragic story of toys locked in a dorm room while Andy goes bar hopping with his new best friends.  Come on Pixar.  Isn't it time to re-invent animation one more time?

The Counselor - Once again Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt.  And once again Penelope Cruz pulls off Penelope Cruz like no one else could have done.  And Cameron Diaz.  She was not convincing as Cameron Diaz.  But I will say this - one of the most memorable items from this movie is her fingernail polish.  That alone was worth the price of admission.  If your tickets were free.  But it was a pretty bold selection in fingernail polishes.  The characters who had very little lines but gave excellent performances were the drug runners.  Their ability to show a septic tank truck being used for illegal transportation of cocaine (I think) was breathtaking.  You could almost smell the product surrounding the illegal product.  A big part of me was going "I really hope they sealed up those drums tight.  If even a little bit of that poop gets in those drums those plastic covered rectangular shaped bricks are gonna get ruined."  Perhaps the scene where Brad Pitt does those crazy eyes and quick hand shakes were the best part.  We've never seen that before have we Fight Club fans?  My favorite dialogue occurs between Jefe played by Ruben Blades talking on the phone with the counselor.  Jefe is explaining to the counselor how screwed up his life just became and that life is the life we make and once that life is created than we separate from the older life and we must accept our new life and the consequences of that new life because we can never go back to the old life.  I believe he was just saying "deal with it" but he does the scene very well.  I never really figured out who Jefe was but you could tell he was in charge of something pretty important.  And then the counselor cried.  They looked like real tears and everything.  To summarize, my opinion of the Counselor, as a movie, was one of deep diarrhea.  The kind that starts on a long car ride with your parents when you're a little kid and your dad doesn't believe you gotta go to the bathroom again.  Then you sit there squirming trying not to splatter inside your shorts and all over the back seat.  Then, without any control it just leaves your body and now you're sitting there in a puddle of your own feces.  You're really not sure which way to lean and you're just praying that no one will find out. But it's starting to dry and you're starting to cry.  Yeah, that about sums up the experience I felt watching The Counselor.  Yet, it was still better than George Clooney's The American.

My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.

Natural Electrical Displacement

Every night, before I go to bed, I do the pre-sleep shutdown.  I wander through the house and check certain things.  When I was young I basically said "Goodnight" if anyone else was awake and then brushed my teeth and went to bed.  As I've gotten older, and the responsibilities of family weigh upon me, I check certain things just to ease my mind.  I'm actually kinda anal about it.  There is the lights.  We leave one on and the rest need to shut off.  There is the thermostat.  Even if it's 70 degrees outside I still check the thermostat in case there was an accidental adjustment made.  Then there are the door locks.  We have a side door that has a door knob lock and dead bolt lock.  I check both. Then there's the front door.  It has a single lock consisting of a dead bolt.  We have lived in this house for over a year now and it has become my common practice to slide my hand on the door several inches before making contact with the dead bolt lever.  "Why?" you ask.  Static electricity.  As the temperatures drop and the heat required inside the house increases, the static builds up quite easily in our house.  Basically, I've been shocked so hard at times by that front door lock that now it's habit no matter what time of the year it is.  I approach it carefully.  I try grounding myself using the hand against the door and sliding slowly towards that lever.  It never works but I do it anyway and I just can't seem to cure myself of this static fear.  So this morning I was thinking about all the power that naturally occurs in our atmosphere and in the world we live in.  If there is enough power trapped "potentially" within me and the door, or vice-versa, why can't we draw that power out and control it for our vehicles?  I suppose someone, somewhere, in some lab underground or in the basement of some university, is probably already devising this.  But what if the whole battery problem with electric cars could be bypassed and natural conductivity could occur between the energy that exists potentially in the air and the electrical system that would propel a vehicle forward?  What if we never had to buy another battery or gallon of gas again?  There would be the endless acres of carpet required for our roads but imagine how much different your life or my life would be without spending another dime or yen or euro on petrol or batteries for a vehicle ever again?  Or what if all those devices we power with electricity or batteries suddenly became self-sustaining with a natural attraction to the electricity that already exists and surrounds them.  A few decades ago a man named Nikola Tesla envisioned a world where all the power required would be transmitted through the air by the use of towers.  Much like radio waves, electricity could be received through the atmosphere by houses and businesses and it would be free.  He later died without seeing his dream realized. But the plans for these grand schemes were "lost" and today it remains a dream.  But what if ... what if you and I never had to worry about our heat again? What if we never had to worry how we would get from point a to point b due to the cost of fuel or tickets?  What if there was a solution?  Technology is great when we experience the benefits of the modern age and marvel in our own genius.  But what if we've been taking the slow train locked in one mode of thinking?  What if the answer is more grand and multi-dimensional than we could imagine?  What if we're just trapped in to the mode of thinking that somehow we have to trap the energy we use and then figure out how to transport it through solid lines or release it slowly through the use of devices such as batteries that deplete and must be re-filled through charging or re-purchase?  If we can devise devices such as nuclear bombs that release so much energy uncontrollably, why is this so far beyond our grasp?  Or are there powers that be that would never allow such innovation to cut into their bottom line on profits?  All I know is that the jolt I feel every night from that stupid lock on my front door seems like such a waste of energy.  We need another Tesla for this age.  My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.

Mad Max a.k.a. Dr. Feelgood a.k.a Max Jacobson

Sometimes the truth is bizarre.  Even more bizarre than a truly gifted version of fiction.  This is the story of one man known in his day as Dr. Feelgood.  Max Jacobson was born July 3, 1900 in Germany but fled in 1936 and set up shop in the United States in Manhattan.  It was in the years following that he acquired the nickname Dr. Feelgood.  He became known by many of the famous and elite for his "miracle tissue regeneration" shots and was frequently sought out.  Among the many well known patients of his including such names as Yul Brynner, Eddie Fisher, Mickey Mantle, Elvis Presley, and Marilyn Monroe, the most famous and celebrated would have been our 35th President of the United States - John F. Kennedy.  For many years he suffered with back pain caused by injuries in his youth and military service.  Also, throughout his life, the President suffered from various afflictions and maladies such as scarlet fever, measles, jaundice, and numerous other problems.  His mother described her son, in his youth, "a very sick, little boy" and "bed-ridden and elfin-like".  Throughout his life, John Kennedy suffered from pain but this never deterred his aspirations.  He played football in college.  He was medically disqualified for service in the Army due to his chronic back pain but through family connections was accepted into the Navy and later was re-injured due to ramming of his patrol boat Pt 109 by a Japanese destroyer.  It would be years later, while running for election to the office of President, that the services of Max Jacobson would be sought by Mr. Kennedy.  After many days of fatigue and pain, the future President was wore out and knew that his performance in the debates against Nixon would not go well without treatment.  This would be the first of many treatments administered by "Dr. Feelgood".  The treatment was a high level dosage of amphetamines, animal hormones, bone marrow, enzymes, human placenta, pain killers, steroids, and multi-vitamins.  There were side effects from the treatments such as hyperactivity, impaired judgement, nervousness, and wild mood swings.  But this was not a deterrent to a man who had suffered all his life from fatigue and illness and pain.  It is reported that Max Jacobson made at least thirty four visits to Mr. Kennedy while serving as President in the White House.  He was also part of the presidential entourage at the Vienna Summit in 1961.  It is also reported that John Kennedy, hours before his meeting with Krushchev, the leader of the Soviet Union, at the Vienna Summit, requested the services of the good doctor.  What was unknown to Mr. Kennedy was the surveillance of the KGB of the doctor and the knowledge of the extent of the US President's injuries and treatments by the doctor was found through the ransacking of his office by the KGB.  A shot was administered to Kennedy but Krushchev did not show up until the treatment was wearing off.  It would be hours after that meeting started that Kennedy would revisit Jacobson for a booster shot and continued on invigorated to finish that meeting with Krushchev.  The extent of his injuries and the use of a back brace may have even contributed to the death of Kennedy.  When the first shot hit the President he was unable to slump forward which would have given to the possibility of the second shot missing him.  The brace stabilized his back and prevented him from naturally slumping to avoid the second shot.

It is believed through the account given by Max Jacobson that his formula began by the mixture of mind altering drugs with the other components to produce a concoction that would see remedies at the cellular level.  It was his consultations with a Carl Jung that lead Max Jacobson to use a mixture of methamphetamines with the goat's and sheep's blood that lead to the interest of Germany's National Socialists.  The drug was given to Nazi soldiers for field endurance and an increased level of viciousness.  Eventually Adolph Hitler and Eva Braun would become addicted to his formula as well.  It would be soon after the formula was acquired by the Nazi's that Max Jacobson would flee his homeland and settle in the United States where the next chapter of his life would begin.

It is believed that the current use of meth in this country and the world can attribute it's beginnings due to the formula that was created by Max Jacobson.  It can also be said that the United States would not have a DEA - Drug Enforcement Agency, were it not for the hearings and discussions on his practice and treatments in the early '70's.  It was in his later life that Max Jacobson would be known to see up to 30 patients a day up until 1972 when the New York Times did a massive expose on him.  He would later lose his license in 1975.

As I said, the truth is often more bizarre than any fiction we can create. My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.

Why Mad Man So Mad

An eerie silence crept into the night as Philip finished signing the check.  He knew he had no other choice.  The envelope would be mailed at the earliest convenience by certified mail tomorrow.  He exchanged a long, slow glance with his wife and they acknowledged the suffering each one felt.  The deadline would come at exactly 5pm tomorrow.  There was a feeling of utter hopelessness as the hour drew near.  They really couldn't afford to pay but they understood the ramifications for themselves and their newborn.  Little Timmy would eat but they would have to hold off such extravagances themselves.  "How did it all come to this?", Phillip wondered to himself.  They had scrimped and saved for a year to purchase the newer vehicle in the drive.  They lived in a modest apartment.  They did not spend their money frivolously.   In fact, Phillip had never felt so broke in his life.  The small business he owned had been his dream since graduating from college two years ago.  In many ways, he felt like the garage he owned with his wife which employed two mechanics was still very much in its own infancy.  He did not know how but he knew his first infant would live.  Somehow.  His father had given him a majority to start up the small shop.  "Consider it your inheritance." his father had joked.  He would only live a few months longer before those words would ring with the truth they now held.  This garage meant everything to him now.  He had promised his father that he would give it his all to see the business grow into a successful venture for the both of them.  After inheriting the medical bills from the hospital and overcoming the grief that still lingered, Philip felt like somehow nothing else could go wrong. Due to the long hours at the hospital, watching over his father, the garage had taken second place in his worries.  His wife had done the best she could but their son had gotten sick as well.  Her hours were divided between supervising the shop and taking care of little Timmy.  There was nothing life threatening about Timmy's sickness but colic can seem to last forever.  She was wore down from the hours at the shop and the nights spent comforting Timmy.  Jaunice was a strong woman but she was on her last nerve.  And now, only days since burying his father, they pondered a total financial ruin.  It seemed odd to Philip how the same state that could plunder the reserves of credit and revenue as Illinois had could feel any grounding in their threats against Phillip and his family and his business.  "Where does all the money go?" he would often ask himself.  The business made too much money for any assistance to be allowed by the agencies set in place by their good state.  The requirements were many just to keep the doors open.  Every month Jaunice and Phillip would fill out the necessary forms and file away all those receipts for the bureaucracy of it all.  And now, a single check would be their undoing.  Without the money to pay the help who could blame those men for looking for employment elsewhere?  Without the money for supplies and necessary materials how would any cars get fixed?   And what of little Timmy's future?  Sometimes a man can only face so much before something misfires inside his head.  Sometimes the magnitude is just too much.  Tomorrow would bring a new day but Philip would not be the same.  And someone was going to pay.





My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.

Christopher Columbus - Portrait Of Insanity

As a youngster we tend to soak up knowledge.  For some that knowledge comes from books. For others, that knowledge comes from the streets.  I, in fact, was a book smart hoodlum. I soak it up from wherever.  But, I, like anyone else, is limited to the facts given to him or her.  Several facts I remember from school concerning Christopher Columbus are few.  I remember 1492 as the year that Columbus sailed to find India but found the Americas instead.  He had three ships - the Nina, the Pinta, and the San Bernadino.  In fact, to honor his discovery, there is a city that still goes by that name in California.  I also remember how he is credited as the first Spanish-American.  He eventually did build a summer home in North America but was driven out when they discovered he did not have a valid driver's license.  Very little is left of that summer home and compares to the truth about Christopher Columbus today.  The hero our youth are taught about today is far from the actual life of the real Columbus. The following excerpts are from the recently discovered ship's logs kept hidden for thousands of years and recently uncovered during the remodeling at a local Denny's on 6th Street in downtown Westboro, Ohio.

Day 1:     I, Christopher Columbus, embark on a voyage of discovery and expectation much like that party I went to after prom.  I hope this time is different.

Day 2:     Man, there is a lot of water.  And Georgio is already complaining about the food.  I hate Georgio and I don't really care how much his parents paid to fund this little get away - he is really annoying.

Day 3:     Georgio fell overboard last night.  I say good riddance but I'm sure his parents are going to be asking about him.  I know I told everyone I would only be gone for a few days but I just don't think coming back right away is going to be a very wise choice.  We have enough food for a few months.  I'm just going to go west and see what I find.

Day 27:    There always has to be one comedian on board and after a few weeks I found where they hid my diary.  The crew is a little upset with me but they'll be happy once we get to India.  I hear the girls are really crazy there. I'm hoping to find a couple of wives to bring back.  That'll shut up Fonzi.  I hate Fonzi even more than Georgio.  At least I still have some of the sugar Mom packed away.  If the other men ever found out I had sugar for my coffee they would probably mutiny.

Day 72:    I swear, if they hide my diary again I will kill them all.  And the sugar is gone.  They found that too.  Oh what fun the men are having with their sweetened coffee while I have to drink mine black.  I hope they enjoy fish because I am throwing all the food overboard after they go to sleep tonight.  That'll teach 'em.

Day 96:    Well, I officially hate fish now.  I guess next time I throw food overboard I'll have to remember to hide some for myself.  We almost had a fire yesterday because Jonesy decided to have a barbeque.  I know who's gonna go overboard tonight.

Day 132:    I would kill from some fresh underwear right now.  And some sugar.  I noticed the men have been dressing a little different but I'm sure it's just a phase I'm going through.

Day 286:    I hate the sea and I really hate fish.  Things are going well between me and Alberto.  He says that when we get back he's going to make an honest man out of me. I know this relationship is only temporary but sometimes I wish we could just find a new place to live and love each other without the church's inquisitions.  I have to go now.  Someone just yelled about land or something.

Day 318:    He finally asked me to go steady.  Oh my gosh.  I really wish I could find a new outfit.  Everything I own either has fish guts on it or coffee stains.  I don't really care for the people here.  But I do like corn.  I guess Mom was right when she said to not be afraid to try new things.  Well the jokes on her.  Just wait til she meets Alberto.

Day 493:    I guess I'm just not good enough for Alberto.  He fell in love with one of the savages here.  I'm thinking about bringing him and his little tart's family back for a little slave trading.  And Alberto can be sold as well.  If he makes it back to Spain.  I really miss sugar for my coffee.

Day 561:    Well I guess the Queen just thinks that anyone can find India.  And she didn't believe Alberto was Indian either.  At least the trip is over.  Now I have to explain to Mom what all the marks are from. I am never going to sea again.

Day 632:    You know sometimes you swear up and down that you'll never do something and then someone hands you a ton of money and supplies and more ships and makes you an offer of being famous and ending up in the history books?  Well, so begins another voyage and this time I'm hiding the sugar.

Day 632 was the last record of Christopher Columbus and what else is known of him can be summarized this way - he initiated slave trade between this new world and his old world.  He brought Native Americans back as slaves and sold them as such.  He was wrong about a lot of things and he should be the last person on earth to have a holiday named after him.  but that's just my opinion.  If you doubt me then do a little research on your own.

My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.

Love Letter

I wanted to take a moment and express what I feel down deep inside for the one who has been there for me through so much.  You have never asked much from me but yet there you are - always there for me.  At night, if it's been a long day, without hesitation, you call to me and let me rest.  We have been through so much together, you and I.  Whatever weight I have carried, you have been there for me.  You never judge me or talk unkindly of me. You are my friend.  Who could be as yielding and forgiving as one such as you?  You have never refused me and you have never asked me to dress differently.  You always accept me for who I am no matter how boring I may be.  You have always let me go when I need to leave.  You are always there waiting for me when I return.  You don't ever ask me, "What's in it for me?"  You are wonderful and one of the most beautiful sights a man can see after a terrible day at work.  How can I ever thank you for all the years of attendance to my needs?  I love you, recliner.  And I always will.  My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.

Gravity - The Real Review

Warning - due to the graphic words and spoilers included in this post, parental guidance is suggested.

Some movies are entertainment.  Others are really an experience.  And then there's Gravity.  I was able to catch this pleasant film this weekend.  My life didn't change much and that's okay.  I will say this - there was a lot of stars in this one.  There was the former Mrs. James - Sandra Bullock.  And we also see the former love interest of Ben Affleck - George Clooney.  I was glad to see him move on especially after the news of Ben reprising one of George's best roles as The Batman.  The basic synopsis is this - the movies opens up with George's character, Matt Kowalski (with an i, not a y), drifting around while other people are working.  We see Sandra Bullock's character, Dr. Ryan Stone, working tediously on a control board on some sophisticated thing and doesn't fix it.  We see another man doing something but it's never really as important as watching Matt Kowalski (with an i, not a y) bouncing around and making unnecessary remarks about Ryan's eyes and his eyes as well.  We never really learn about the other guys eyes because his face gets blown out when a collision occurs in a one in a billion chance of such improbable magnitude that we just have to take the writer's word for it that it might possibly happen.  But if that collision occurred with space debris, which just happens to wipe out all communication satellites presently orbiting the earth, the CGI captured it brilliantly.  At this moment there are approximately 8300 satellites orbiting the earth but it's estimated that 3000 are not very functional.  I don't know how many of the 5300 satellites are for communications but that must have been one terrible missile launch by the Russians.  After the collision we find our heroes drifting around and fortunately Mr. Kowalski (with an i, not a y) has just enough oxygen and fuel in his batpack to allow for him to talk incoherently about his eyes and dwelve into Dr. Stone's past just long enough for her to feel even more terrible than she already does.  Fortunately for the audience he ends up drifting off into space to achieve the record for the longest monologue that's ever taken place in space.  Ryan ends up jumping from one space machine to another until gravity pulls her down.  It is actually a pretty good story and the visual effects are extraordinary.  Who knew cosmonaut spacesuits could be so form fitting?  I will say this about gravity - it's effect keeps me from drifting off into space and for that I'm grateful.  On the serious side, if I haven't spoiled the movie too much for you, Gravity is very much worth seeing and the performances are great.  Out of all the actors in this movie, Sandra Bullock and George Clooney really stood out and deserve top billing.  I can't wait for this to come out on VHS so I can rent it soon. It's worth watching again.  My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.