Movie reviews. It's an interesting concept. For some of you the very idea that someone would have the audacity of writing their opinion down of what their thoughts were on the movie is something that shouldn't be done. For others it's just one of those things. And still for others, their opinion of a critic's opinion is somewhere near the gold standard in judgement and this even influences their joy or discomfort with a cinema viewing. I am one of those people who enjoy criticizing. And I hope my opinion in no way influences anyone from not watching or going to see a movie. It's just an opinion. So, without further hindrance or ado, here are a couple of short reviews of currently playing movies.
Carrie - It's a remake. She gets pigs blood dumped on her at her senior prom. The votes for prom queen and king were rigged by someone who just hates her. Prom dress goes from pink to red in 0.2 seconds in real time but it actually takes 2 minutes and 65 seconds to watch the bucket almost dumping over and then finally the bucket does dump over. On a side note, I've watched animals being processed at a meat locker and blood actually is messier than what the movie portrays. I would have believed the blood was actually melted red jello over real pig's blood. Note to Hollywood - get it right on your third remake of this Stephen King classic because two just ain't enough. The young actress who portrays Carrie (in this second remake of the Stephen King Classic) is Chloe Grace Moretz. You might remember her from that famous McDonald's commercial where the young couple enter the restaurant and Heinz ketchup gets dumped all over them. So it really wasn't a big surprise to see Chloe in this one. She was very believable portraying the outsider with an abusive mother who is shunned at school. My problem with her performance begins the moment all that melted jello lands on her. She did not pull off the "sane to insane in 0.2 seconds" needed for this to work. Yes, she looks mad. Yes, she very expertly handled the telekinetic show with the live electric cables. But something was just terribly off with the way the camera handled the scenes and perhaps there wasn't anything wrong with her performance. She is extremely gifted in her acting abilities but the scenes after the bucket just did not startle me or bring any closure to her character's suffering. It was almost a check off list for killing the bad kids. I believe the director relied too much on the same performance we get from her action movie side. Which was probably a determining factor in casting her. The one who really came shining through was Julianne Moore or less. The character of Mom portrayed by Mrs. Moore gave one a truly creepy feeling. Her severe religiousness offset by the portrayal of the opening scene and mixed with being locked in that prayer closet leaves one with an after taste that is needed after watching something as sad and bizarre as what she played. The level of acting is superb in this movie. The angry selfish teen portrayed by Portia Doubleday called Chris is another character very well defined and can actually be hated by the audience. We've all had our experiences with a "Chris" in our life and she pulled it off well. This movie was one in which the director just failed in the most important scenes and should have ended the movie once the "bad" people suffered their demise. We did not need such involved closure between Carrie and her mom. And the ending was perhaps so stupid that everyone in the movie should have walked away the first time the director even hinted at such an idea. Perhaps the third remake will be better. Perhaps Pixar will pick it up and give us something even better than Toy Story. I can see Woody and Buzz Lightyear on the scaffolding high above the stage as Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head stand below. And then we hear Rex tear into Ham in the scene that will terrorize children for years to come. "You have a friend on me. You have a friend on me. Whoever thought that teeth could sink in so far, You've got a friend on me." Terrific theme song. Terrific ending to the tragic story of toys locked in a dorm room while Andy goes bar hopping with his new best friends. Come on Pixar. Isn't it time to re-invent animation one more time?
The Counselor - Once again Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt. And once again Penelope Cruz pulls off Penelope Cruz like no one else could have done. And Cameron Diaz. She was not convincing as Cameron Diaz. But I will say this - one of the most memorable items from this movie is her fingernail polish. That alone was worth the price of admission. If your tickets were free. But it was a pretty bold selection in fingernail polishes. The characters who had very little lines but gave excellent performances were the drug runners. Their ability to show a septic tank truck being used for illegal transportation of cocaine (I think) was breathtaking. You could almost smell the product surrounding the illegal product. A big part of me was going "I really hope they sealed up those drums tight. If even a little bit of that poop gets in those drums those plastic covered rectangular shaped bricks are gonna get ruined." Perhaps the scene where Brad Pitt does those crazy eyes and quick hand shakes were the best part. We've never seen that before have we Fight Club fans? My favorite dialogue occurs between Jefe played by Ruben Blades talking on the phone with the counselor. Jefe is explaining to the counselor how screwed up his life just became and that life is the life we make and once that life is created than we separate from the older life and we must accept our new life and the consequences of that new life because we can never go back to the old life. I believe he was just saying "deal with it" but he does the scene very well. I never really figured out who Jefe was but you could tell he was in charge of something pretty important. And then the counselor cried. They looked like real tears and everything. To summarize, my opinion of the Counselor, as a movie, was one of deep diarrhea. The kind that starts on a long car ride with your parents when you're a little kid and your dad doesn't believe you gotta go to the bathroom again. Then you sit there squirming trying not to splatter inside your shorts and all over the back seat. Then, without any control it just leaves your body and now you're sitting there in a puddle of your own feces. You're really not sure which way to lean and you're just praying that no one will find out. But it's starting to dry and you're starting to cry. Yeah, that about sums up the experience I felt watching The Counselor. Yet, it was still better than George Clooney's The American.
My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.
Carrie - It's a remake. She gets pigs blood dumped on her at her senior prom. The votes for prom queen and king were rigged by someone who just hates her. Prom dress goes from pink to red in 0.2 seconds in real time but it actually takes 2 minutes and 65 seconds to watch the bucket almost dumping over and then finally the bucket does dump over. On a side note, I've watched animals being processed at a meat locker and blood actually is messier than what the movie portrays. I would have believed the blood was actually melted red jello over real pig's blood. Note to Hollywood - get it right on your third remake of this Stephen King classic because two just ain't enough. The young actress who portrays Carrie (in this second remake of the Stephen King Classic) is Chloe Grace Moretz. You might remember her from that famous McDonald's commercial where the young couple enter the restaurant and Heinz ketchup gets dumped all over them. So it really wasn't a big surprise to see Chloe in this one. She was very believable portraying the outsider with an abusive mother who is shunned at school. My problem with her performance begins the moment all that melted jello lands on her. She did not pull off the "sane to insane in 0.2 seconds" needed for this to work. Yes, she looks mad. Yes, she very expertly handled the telekinetic show with the live electric cables. But something was just terribly off with the way the camera handled the scenes and perhaps there wasn't anything wrong with her performance. She is extremely gifted in her acting abilities but the scenes after the bucket just did not startle me or bring any closure to her character's suffering. It was almost a check off list for killing the bad kids. I believe the director relied too much on the same performance we get from her action movie side. Which was probably a determining factor in casting her. The one who really came shining through was Julianne Moore or less. The character of Mom portrayed by Mrs. Moore gave one a truly creepy feeling. Her severe religiousness offset by the portrayal of the opening scene and mixed with being locked in that prayer closet leaves one with an after taste that is needed after watching something as sad and bizarre as what she played. The level of acting is superb in this movie. The angry selfish teen portrayed by Portia Doubleday called Chris is another character very well defined and can actually be hated by the audience. We've all had our experiences with a "Chris" in our life and she pulled it off well. This movie was one in which the director just failed in the most important scenes and should have ended the movie once the "bad" people suffered their demise. We did not need such involved closure between Carrie and her mom. And the ending was perhaps so stupid that everyone in the movie should have walked away the first time the director even hinted at such an idea. Perhaps the third remake will be better. Perhaps Pixar will pick it up and give us something even better than Toy Story. I can see Woody and Buzz Lightyear on the scaffolding high above the stage as Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head stand below. And then we hear Rex tear into Ham in the scene that will terrorize children for years to come. "You have a friend on me. You have a friend on me. Whoever thought that teeth could sink in so far, You've got a friend on me." Terrific theme song. Terrific ending to the tragic story of toys locked in a dorm room while Andy goes bar hopping with his new best friends. Come on Pixar. Isn't it time to re-invent animation one more time?
The Counselor - Once again Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt. And once again Penelope Cruz pulls off Penelope Cruz like no one else could have done. And Cameron Diaz. She was not convincing as Cameron Diaz. But I will say this - one of the most memorable items from this movie is her fingernail polish. That alone was worth the price of admission. If your tickets were free. But it was a pretty bold selection in fingernail polishes. The characters who had very little lines but gave excellent performances were the drug runners. Their ability to show a septic tank truck being used for illegal transportation of cocaine (I think) was breathtaking. You could almost smell the product surrounding the illegal product. A big part of me was going "I really hope they sealed up those drums tight. If even a little bit of that poop gets in those drums those plastic covered rectangular shaped bricks are gonna get ruined." Perhaps the scene where Brad Pitt does those crazy eyes and quick hand shakes were the best part. We've never seen that before have we Fight Club fans? My favorite dialogue occurs between Jefe played by Ruben Blades talking on the phone with the counselor. Jefe is explaining to the counselor how screwed up his life just became and that life is the life we make and once that life is created than we separate from the older life and we must accept our new life and the consequences of that new life because we can never go back to the old life. I believe he was just saying "deal with it" but he does the scene very well. I never really figured out who Jefe was but you could tell he was in charge of something pretty important. And then the counselor cried. They looked like real tears and everything. To summarize, my opinion of the Counselor, as a movie, was one of deep diarrhea. The kind that starts on a long car ride with your parents when you're a little kid and your dad doesn't believe you gotta go to the bathroom again. Then you sit there squirming trying not to splatter inside your shorts and all over the back seat. Then, without any control it just leaves your body and now you're sitting there in a puddle of your own feces. You're really not sure which way to lean and you're just praying that no one will find out. But it's starting to dry and you're starting to cry. Yeah, that about sums up the experience I felt watching The Counselor. Yet, it was still better than George Clooney's The American.
My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.
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