Death Comes Unexpectedly

Funerals.  We don't like to think about them, do we?  Death and all that.  But we have to.  At some point you really have to sit down and ponder your end.  If you're like me you like having a say in the affairs of your life so it only makes sense to try to figure out that last party, don't you think?  Most just casually leave it to their loved ones to figure out, with a referral from us, as to the mode of departure.  "I want to be buried in a casket." says Johnny.  "I want cremation." says Judy.  But what about the rest of it.  Don't you have a song or some poem?  Is it really your funeral if someone else makes all those decisions?  How many times have we seen the final goodbye marked with questions?  "I guess Martha was wrong when she said she wouldn't be caught dead wearing those colors."  We choose the house we live in, the car we drive, even the city we live in but yet we don't want to think about death so many of us make no arrangements beforehand.  "I'm sure my wife will want to make all those decisions for me when she wants nothing more to do than crawl into a ball and lay in bed."  It really doesn't have to be complicated.  A simple checklist made out beforehand and given to a trusted relative would probably suffice.  Do you have a favorite song that everyone hated but meant the world to you?  Make them suffer through it one last time.  Do you want your favorite band to perform?  Is there a color scheme you'd prefer?  Or even a favorite flower you would like your urn to be surrounded by?  Is a cheap casket good enough or do you prefer stainless steel?  I've thought off and on about this for a few years and someday I will sit down and devise a list of what I'd prefer because it just seems odd to leave those details up to strangers in your life.  Now, for me personally, my wife would be the one to make those decisions.  But what of the man or woman who has no spouse or children?  Does the brother or sister make those choices?  Who really, emotionally, should have that responsibility thrust upon them at the worst possible time?  They're grieving and now they have to choose a funeral home and who will say some last words?  For most of us we have no idea when that moment will come.  We have no forewarning.  "Death comes unexpectedly."  (Said the reverend Paul Ford, a.k.a. Karl Malden from the Disney classic Pollyanna)  Some of us, in the most saddest of ways, do know when that time will arrive.  And they probably do have arrangements made beforehand.  But for a lot of us we deny the certainty and convince ourselves we have many years left.  But we don't know - really.  We give out hints in some discarded discussion but we don't really write it out for the future.  Because then it becomes a certainty.  So our demise gets an extension in our mind's probability.  But the truth is, you just don't really know.  So, take a moment, grab a pen and get started on your end.  You could die by the time you finish.  My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.