I was answering a dear friend's email several minutes ago and suddenly, from out of no where, I found a new word. I'm not talking about rummaging through my trusty Webster's dictionary either. I totally just came up with a new word. I present to you ... caduffle. Now, if only for my own amusement, I will give you a sample sentence and then allow you, the reader, to ascertain the true meaning of the word. "Even though Jeffries had initiated the procedure, Stephanie found herself in a complete caduffle." As you can see, it works on several different levels. Someone made a huge mistake and it was so extraordinary that "huge mistake" just doesn't cover it? Try using caduffle to describe it. It would surely shorten some broadcast news reports. "And now we go to Ann for the latest on the I-54 traffic caduffle. Ann, what's going on down there?" Or when the boss is asking you why 2000 roaches escaped the laboratory and just yells "Jim, what the caduffle is going on?" Or someone cuts you off on your drive in to work? A simple shout of "Caduffle" replaces many of the profanities in use today. As we continue to broaden our capacity for laziness isn't it time to just replace some of the old complacent words that just won't go away? Caduffle is, in it's own simplicity, a cornucopia of possibilities. Your best friend asks you over for coffee and spills her guts about a torrid affair and now her husband has found out? What do you say? How do you respond? A simple "Well, that's a real caduffle your in, isn't it?" Or the co-worker who just found out that he has six-months to live and you didn't even realize they still work in the same office building? A firm but consoling "Life is really full of caduffles, isn't it?" will go a long way upon bumping into them after finding out. The true genius of such a word is just how simple caduffle is really. It could replace a bunch of words in sports. "Wait a second Steve, there seems to be a caduffle down in the endzone. Penalty flags everywhere." Or "If they don't contain the defensive caduffle, the home team won't have much to celebrate tonight, will they Jay?" Even the game of golf could find it's usefulness. "Jamie lines up the put but caduffle's it. That is quite the shame, isn't Bob?" As I've used it tonight I realize just how easy caduffle could be integrated into society today. Even in the world of weather forecasting the implications are enormous. "Today's forecast, highs in the mid 30's with a chance of caduffles later on in the afternoon." Even children could use the word when parents ask them about their latest test. "I'm sorry Mom. I really caduffled it. I'll do better next time." And let's not forget the entertainment industry. "This program is rated PG-13 for some language and caduffles." Or that friendly bashing at the water cooler - "I heard Jennie was caught caduffling the whole thing. She won't last here." Even product names could find a use for the new word. "Presenting the all new, state of the art product from Renco. The Caduffler. No more tangled fuss. No more hours of primping. For 5 easy payments of $19.95 you get The Caduffler and over 59 attachments. But wait! There's more. If you order two Caduffler's you get the third one for the unbelievable price of .... $1. That's right. Three Caduffles for the price of two. Order now. Quantities are limited." So there you have it. A truly original word. Caduffle. And you heard it here first. My name is Rueuhy and I approve this caduffling blog. If you have questions or concerns about someone in your life who may be considering caduffling, please email me at rueuhy@gmail.com Remember, only you can prevent caduffles.
No comments:
Post a Comment