Where Are Ye June Bug?

I grew up in a small shoe box in Illinois.  Sometimes you're born poor and sometimes your parents are just saving up for a Corvette.  My dilemma was the former of the two.  During the summer months, when we didn't have to suffer through the daily grind of school, our summer nights were filled with fun and excitement at the local t-shirt factory as my brother and sisters and I worked overtime to fill our quotas.  Life was hard for us but we didn't mind.  Our parents would always ask us how work went as they sipped their beers and continued with their poker game with their dear friends Fred and Ethyl Mertz.  The Mertz's were also mom and dad's landlords and they enjoyed taking their money on poker nights as well as our paychecks.  They always got a kick out of dad yelling "Lucy, I'm home".  Then they would yell "Hey Desi, Castro's at the door."  Dad would freak and yell "Luuuuucccccyyyyy!!"  Then we would run to our rooms and mom would run to the closet.   After we grew up and figured out there were child labor laws and such we later sued our parents and were able to split the money from the sale of the Corvette awarded us in our lawsuit.  Momma cried for days and Poppa drank more to soothe the pain.  My sister Frannie

kept the mint tree air freshener from the Corvette and put it on her mirror in her car and would taunt Momma every time she gave her a ride to the drugstore for lottery tickets.  But I digress ....  Back in the day, on our walks home from the factory, my brother and sisters and I would play a game.  As we held our lanterns to guide our way through those dark summer nights, the June bugs would attack those lights and would give us moments of sheer terror and my sisters would crap their drawers.

Every time a June bug would approach us, my brother and I would yell "June" and then "bug" and watch our sister's faces for their reactions. A hundred times a night we would hear their shrieks of terror but it would never get old. "June!" I would yell and my brother would respond, "Bug!!".  Yeah, it was stupid game but we were just laborers trying to forget the burdens of paying our parent's rent.  But the air was thick with them and they would always swarm those lanterns.  It is now, as I watch my own kids return from the t-shirt factory I used to work in (they make minimum wage now and have a 401K plan) that the memories flood back of those days being attacked by the June bugs.  But the strange thing is the lack of them.  As the porch light glows steadily in the darkness, the air is bare and still without those golden creatures attacking.  They seem to have just - gone.  I noticed a couple years ago their population has decreased each year.  And this year I have not seen a single June bug.  Most of them have married and moved away.  It seems strange that a childhood fixture that would endlessly attack our front porches and patio doors have seemingly disappeared.  And I've also noticed the night time seems much more quiet. I have also noticed a lot less squirrels.  And less raccoons as well.  Where have they gone?  The blood sucking creatures such as mosquito's are still out in force but no June bugs.  What is going on?  There are several explanations via the internet that are plausible.  One is climate change.  In a species driven declaration of hatred for man made global warming, they are presently in exile somewhere in Cuba.  "If it's good enough for Castro ...."  is their slogan.  The other plausible explanation is the use of pesticides in our schools' drinking water.  This one I don't really agree with due to the fact that children don't drink water anymore.  If it was being mixed in with soda, maybe.  The third explanation which may be possible but I still disagree with is the protest of the bugs over silly strange wattage levels labeled on light bulbs.  56 watts and 79 watts are some examples that differ from the old 40 watt and 75 watt bulbs that were plentiful back in the day.  Some feel that the fluorescent light bulbs do not transmit at the same spectrum of light the bugs were drawn to with the old school incandescent lights.  I feel light is light and they just really want to see where they are flying to.  And maybe it's just a rebellion against that old slogan "Don't go to the light" you hear near death beds.  I don't know.  But all I know is one of summer's most beloved pests are just not around anymore.  And has anyone noticed windshields don't get as messy as they used to? My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.