Picking My Brain Has Left A Huge Scab

Everyday I get the phone call. Or sometimes once a week. It seems to happen a lot during the hot days of summer or the cold days of winter. Someone will call wanting to "pick my brain". I didn't use to mind. At all. But I have noticed a trend which is happening more and more. People tend to forget who I am. A number will appear or a name will show up on my caller i.d. that I haven't seen for awhile. The conversation will go something like this: "Hey, how's it going? Pretty good. It's been a long time since we talked. Yeah, it sure has. Hey, I was wondering if you knew anything about ..." Now, to be honest, it used to feel pretty good to hear the voice of a friend I hadn't heard from for a long time. The friend would have likely received a text or two from me in between the phone calls. Just my way of reaching out. But I won't receive any answers due to the fact they are living their lives and they're probably pretty busy. Or, they realize that a conversation with me, via text or phone, will result in tangents that take us beyond the realm of the normal and they probably feel exhausted. I understand that. So, they won't answer. I understand. This has been going on for a decade or so. I guess I've given up trying to reach out to people because I really do get tired of the disappointment. But the phone call will come. Eventually. My abilities in the mechanical areas of expertise allow for some communications. They, my friends, will call when something has happened which interferes with their normal daily lives and I'm the one that they think of to call. The heating and air conditioning field usually calls for knowledge of some plumbing or electrical. Also, I have been known to dabble in motors, appliances, and other household necessities. I will admit I've lost the craving to tinker with things because I get my fill in my daily job. So, for a couple of decades I have torn things apart, put them back together, repaired, maintained, refurbished countless items. My mind has acquired a certain skill which many other folks unfortunately do not have. And I understand that. If they did I would probably go hungry. But, there are times when I remember having conversations with people. Such as "Are you doing okay?" and "Do you think the elections in Tanzania are rigged?" Deep, dark, philosophical conversations. Now my days are filled (and it seems at night as well) with questions of "How?" and "Why would my furnace be ...?" Am I complaining about people calling me for assistance? Not really. Well, maybe. But I do miss the days when my friends would just seek out a friendly hello. And I don't think I'm alone in this. I believe, in the throw away cell phone society we live in today, that there are many that long for meaningful phone calls rather than just seeing a checkmark next to their newest photo on facebook with a "like" besides it. Or how many parents wish their kids would start out a conversation differently than "Hey, mom (or dad), could I have ...?" or "My friends were wondering ...?" We all want to be known for more than what our work is or our current important role in life is. We want the phone calls or conversations that really request a long response to the question "Is everything going well in your life?" We want to know that we are not just defined as our jobs or as parents or as the employee. Mothers and fathers need to remember they are human. I need to know I'm more than just a brain to be picked when something breaks down or acts differently in someone's home or business. I find the ability to even give an answer a source of pride but it also becomes an anchor in the sea of human interaction. I want to know that I am still relevant in the one on one rather than the man against machine. I truly do like to torment people with the tangents I throw them. It's how my mind releases the beast inside. I need that. I have struggled through the years with a multiple congnitive disfunction which seems to be in hyperdrive most of the time. It's misdiagnosed by physicians and therapists too often. And these minds which can't deal with singular ideas are drugged and not allowed to seek out their full capability. Because their handlers can't, I'll be blunt, handle them. I was never drugged and had to learn to deal with my ability on my own terms. Often, my own parents would run when they saw a full-fledged episode coming on. Others just try to blackout until it's over. But for those who understand I'm just me they smile and drift off to a peaceful land filled with single dimensional thought and little ideals. Because sanity is comfortable. Sanity is what they are used to. Personally, I think sanity is overrated. But I digress... What I want is a phone call just to say "Hi". "I was thinking of you and I care." Simple but effective. But the texts just don't seem to cut it. There is something impersonable about a text. Sure, there's a name attached and it's convenient. But the physical sound of the human voice is a connection which will never be fully replaced by emails and texting. It is in our nature to want that connection. To hear someone on the other line or face to face. We need to know we are human as well. So, today, if you have that name swirling around in your head try not to let it be silenced. Call them. Have a real conversation. Feel them rather than text them. The human voice is a gift to be heard. And don't ask for anything other than an answer to your inquiry on their condition. Because we are lost in a sea of despair and hurt. And the only lifeboats that really exist are each other. My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.