Super Zod

Have you ever suddenly had the taste of Smores pop into your memory? Even more the really burnt Smore? Smores, of course, were invented by the Smurfs in the late '80's when Papa Smurf callously threw Smurfette's purse in a fire while high on mushrooms. He yelled, "Smurf you, Smurfette. I just wanted a family. I can't just be blue forever. And don't you think it would make sense for me to actually have children since everyone calls me Papa?" But sometimes we never really see the big picture do we? Like the one that hangs in our local Chinese restaurant. That thing is huge. It's like 10 feet wide and six feet tall. It may be one of the biggest pictures I've seen but I really don't look at it anymore. But I digress... Smores, when burnt, have that carmel scent to them. Very similar to carmel when it burns but without the pan. And this is why The Man of Steel may have been the most disappointing movie for me this summer. **Caution** Spoiler alert!! Superman is actually Clark Kent. He wears glasses and they're really black with big frames. For some reason, after fighting the other aliens for a full three hours (it may have been longer but it was at the midnight premier so it may have just been the lack of sleep) in full view of Metropolis (very similar to New York City but without the politicians or world leaders involved) no one, absolutely no one except Louis Lane, recognizes him. Even though the world was watching as the aliens showed up, turned off the power to everything except the tv screens, and demanded this single resident of the planet earth to be turned over to them. And the world watched as Clark surrendered to the bad aliens and then knocked down the buildings that had not already been knocked down by the alien's ship which was as big as the ship when they showed up but was half of the original ship after it split up into two. So, at the end of the movie he shows up to his new job and somehow Metropolis had fully rebuilt itself within a matter of hours. Or maybe it was actually days. But at the end of the final epic battle between Superman and Super Zod, the city is literally so damaged that every (yes every) building has every window blown out and the skyscraper which collapsed next to the daily planet was all cleaned up. So it must have been more like months, or years, or decades to clean up that mess. But then they show the gang at the Daily Planet (totally unharmed afterwards) without any aging taken place and back at their jobs. Clark shows up, in glasses (disguise complete), and he's introduced to all these eye witnesses (who had a front row seat to the epic battle between Superman and Super Zod) and they do not recognize the super guy who is an ALIEN!!!! I can only disconnect from reality for so long but this movie required someone to actually externally throw my switch. As I walked out of the theater and threw my soda at the guy mopping other people's thrown sodas I was disappointed. Kind of like when I asked for a football uniform for Christmas one year and I got a toy typewriter instead. It just hurts. They promised a super movie with a super guy and super zod and Amy Adams and we pretty much got a super mess with the same performance by Amy Adams that we saw in the Muppets and Curveballs with Clint Eastwood. She doesn't exactly stray away from the formula. So, Amy Adams was Amy Adams. Now, this was the same director who brought us 300 so I was expecting more skulls. And he did not disappoint. Ka-el or Clark or Superdude is shown in a dream sequence taken directly out of 300 where the skulls are everywhere. And suddenly he starts sinking into the skulls. It's a skull quicksand scene. I was not expecting skull quicksand. But that's not really at the top of my list of cinematic achievements. So how does Superman defeat Super Zod? Is it a secret energy field deep within Clark that surfaces from all the souls of Krypton placed their by his dad? Does the human race devise some super weapon that can only be made from alien technology? How do you kill an alien just as strong or powerful as Superman? Well, I'll tell you. **Caution** Super Spoiler Alert!!!!!!! You snap his neck. Yeah, after an hour of throwing each other through buildings and burning each other with super death rays from the eyes, you just simply snap a neck. And then scream with all the souls of Krypton inside of you because you "Broke your one rule Batman". Oh wait, that was Bruce Waynes' one rule. And then Amy Adams looks at you and says "There, there, Superman. You need a hug?" And of course she's within a 5 second walk from Superman after the climatic Super Epic final fist fight with Super Zod. Like I said before, sometimes you suddenly smell burnt Smores and you just can't seem to get that fragrance out of your nose. And sometimes you would just rather hear someone scream "This is Sparta!!" and watch him kick a tall Ethiopian down a deep well. But sometimes you have a classic and sometimes you just go for a really big CGI movie. And do some super snapping. My name is Super Rueuhy and I approve this blog.