The Old Lady In The Cellar

Yesterday, the day before today, I had the honor of meeting the distinguished author of the best-selling book series, The Old Lady In the Cellar. Sir William Pickalotee was dining at our local McDonald's. Surrounded by a throng of devoted hipsters enjoying their cafe mocha chocolattes and Big Macs, William was discussing his latest book series, The Old Man In The Shorts and Black Socks. Not only was the author adept in the art of writing but apparently he was also attuned to the latest in fashions, tight-fitting jeans and old school sneakers. As I approached his table the air was thick with the smell of urban outfitters and liberal arts degrees. "Mr. Pickalotee?" I asked with the enthusiasm of a little boy stuck in a cage of Algerian Bratwurst. "Sir William Pickalotee! How can you people forget my name?" he sneered back at me. It would seem knighthood has its privileges and expectations. "I am so sorry. If you would do me the honor of just a moment of your time I would like a chance to ask you a few questions on your last ..." A single hand was raised by the author and I knew I had blown my chance. A smile rose from his haggard face and he slowly shook his head. "But please sir. Just one or two questions?" The silence from the hipsters and the ceasing of sipping from the cafe mocha chocolattes was evidence of the power this man held. "I apologize and I won't bother you again." I made my way back to my usual table located three tables from the trash cans located three feet from the east entrance. I could not look back at his table out of pure embarrassment but the hipsters could be heard with their muffled giggles. "Why do I do this?" I thought to myself. "I would do anything for just a moment of that man's time." As I looked down at my tray I noticed my Quarter Pounder with Cheese had been stolen. Also my fries were cold. "It's a cruel world we live in" I mentioned to no one in particular. As I watched the lunch hour crowd make their way in to order their favorite combos I tried to forget this latest catastrophe in brushes with famous people. The last time something like this happened I had dropped my large sweet tea in the lap of Harrison Ford. "Maybe it's time to try Wendy's" I said to the hostess wiping up tables. She just smiled and asked if I needed a refill. The silence was answer enough for her but the damage will remain with me forever. My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.