The Art of Confucion

In 497 B.C. the philosopher, teacher, and politician Confucius left his homeland in self-exile. He would not return until the age of 68. This was due to the fact his social security benefits could only be paid out if he lived in his country of origin. During his time of exile many sightings were reported of his whereabouts. "He is here" or "Now he's over there" were heard but never verified. Confucius was credited for many teachings. One such example was the "silver rule". It simply states: Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself. This explains briefly the reasons Confucius never got into the tattoo business. He couldn't stand them and refused to apply this art form to the bodies of friend or foe. He was simple in his beliefs but yet very complex in his writings. It is said that Confucius had an extensive collection of small silver spoons and would refuse to leave any truck stop without purchasing one from their gift shop. At the reading of his will, his third and youngest son Albert was heard complaining about the collection of spoons being awarded to him. "They're so small." he said. "You can't eat cereal with them. And forget about enjoying soup." Albert was also angry that his cousin Stewart was given the book collection. "The wisdom of the ages were contained in those books but I get the spoons?" Albert never really got along with his father but that was mainly due to the lectures his father was always on the road for. Albert was raised primarily by his mother Gloria. Gloria met Confucius while he was giving a lecture in Istanbul. It would be many years after his death that his own children would learn of their mother's contempt towards their father. In an interview with The New Yorker, Gloria was asked about her thoughts on her husband's wisdom. In a quote from that interview Gloria states: "He was never really around that much. Just long enough for me to get pregnant. Basically, I think he was full of crap." The closest friends of Confucius never really understood the attraction he felt towards Gloria. In a Rolling Stones interview with his best friend, Andrew Alveraz, a well-known publisher responsible for the original printing of Confucius' book Five Classics, Andrew was asked to comment on his take of the relationship between Confucius and his wife. "She was always, and I mean always, at the mall. Here was my best friend teaching inner peace and the steps to self-restraint and Gloria was out there maxing out his credit card. What kind of woman does that?" When asked about the prior marriage between Gloria and himself, Mr. Alveraz had this to say: "Yeah, when she was younger she was definitely hot. But, she would give me headaches just listening to her endless whining. I guess Confucius saw past all that. But he was a man just like the rest of us. He never really got into his own private feelings but she had a control over him like I never saw with anyone else. She'd bat her pretty little eyes and he'd be jello. She was his Kryptonite." At the end of his life, in a final interview with Oprah, Confucius confused many of his critics with a final confession. "When I was little I tore the wings off of any butterfly or moth I could find. It was in the struggle for these creatures to continue their lives in their flightless form that many of my future inspirations I wrote about were formed. A butterfly without wings is much like a man without his mind. A creature who is intended to fly without wings is a creature that defies his own definition. Such is the case with man. For the mind allows man to fly. Unless he's going first class on United." The audience really laughed at that one. But Confucius mind was strong up til the end. And it can be said that he knew no boundaries when it came to his own inner flight. But Confucius was known for enjoying his opium. My name is Rueuhy and I approve this blog.